Pit of Misery
by Tigerlily-Tinuviel
Summary: When Marissa is seriously injured not just physically by her dangerous boyfriend, Ryan is willing to do anything to help her save herself. Rated R for violence, rape, a bit of language. RyanMarissa, SethSummer...all the usual romances!R&R, NO FLAMING! On
1. Prologue

Hey everyone, here's my latest fic! I re-wrote a bit of it after everyone said how short it was. Mind you, this is simply a prologue - the otherchapters will be much longer!

Rated R for violence, implied rape, and a bit of language. Enjoy!

**Prologue**

Jacob Pendereki was hot stuff. Everyone in the Orange County in California knew it. Girls chased after him, hoping to win his heart; he had everything he wanted from popularity to hot girls.

He had chocolate brown hair and even darker eyes. His olive complexion was naturally tanned. His smile melted girls to pieces as he flashed those pearly whites. His tall, muscular body sent them crazy. His dress sense was perfect, always up with the latest trends. He lived in the O.C, in one of the richest parts of Newport Beach. Positioned right on the beachfront, his house was large; almost a mansion and he took every chance he could to boast about it.

He seemed perfect to most, except those girls who really knew him.

Those ex-girlfriends who were abused, and often robbed of the flowers. He, and his gang, found it funny to discriminate young girls, to take advantage of their beauty. And if they dared to try and break up the relationship, they would go to hell and back.

His current girlfriend was drop-dead gorgeous. Her honey coloured hair was slightly wavy, but it looked perfect as it hung on her shoulders. Her sky blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight, contrasting brightly against her fair, slightly freckled skin. She used to smile a perfect smile, but not anymore.

She was already ruined inside.

Marissa Cooper was already ruined inside.

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**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH HOW SUSPENSEFUL! Review now!**


	2. Be Strong

Hey every1!!! I'm back with a brand spanking new chapter for my lamentable story. Sorry that i took so long - one thing you should learn about me is that i tend to write the more excitable chapters (i.e. death scenes none in this story, romantic romps etc.) first and then i write the not-so-interesting ones. So i've been planning the story and writing the interesting scenes. That's why i took so long to producethis!

Anyway, thanks heaps for your reviews!Here's my specific answers to them:

**Jay: **Umm...well there's definitely rape and i'm thinking of putting in a little bit of Ryan/Marissa sex...not entirely sure yet!

**Jules**: Thanks, but i'm going to make the chapters a lot longer than the Prologue...the Prologue was short coz it didnt need extensive explanation!

**Bobbie**: Umm...it's not really set in a particular time, probably after all the Oliver stuff..point is, Marissa and Ryan arent together at the start.

**Muzzy - Olorea**: Thanks heaps! As for the short chapter, read the answer i wrote to **Jules** above.

**newportbabe44: **Thankyou, again, read the answer i gave **Jules**

**norbert-theduck: **Thanks heaps!

**Amanda: **Thanx!

**Sarah:** Thankyou for being interested in it - most of the stuff i write is pretty crummy!

**J**: I DID NOT QUIT! CHECK OUT THE NEW CHAPTER BELOW! Lol!

**Bitchy-Mitchy-1991**: Don't worry yourself, i'm continuing!

**PoisndNarcissus: **Interesting...but yes there will be more!

**tamplin: **Thankyou very much!

**Katie Alder**: LOL! I will!

**k: **hehe i will

Oh and by the way, i'm changing the name of the story from 'Changes' to 'Pit of Misery'!

Here's just a little song to start off the chapter:

_This world, this world is cold  
But you don't, you don't have to go  
You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely  
And no one seems to care  
Your mother's gone and your father hits you  
This pain you cannot bare _

But we all bleed the same way as you do  
And we all have the same things to go thru

Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days you say they're way too long  
And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on)  
And you're not sure what you're waiting for  
But you don't want to know more  
And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you don't want to know more

But we all bleed the same way as you do  
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking you're one step closer  
Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on

What are you looking for?  
What are you waiting for?  
Do you know what you're doing to me?  
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking you're one step closer  
Don't stop searching it's not over...

Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on

**Hold on - Good Charlotte**

_Chapter 1 of_ **Pit of Misery** _by Tigerlily Tinuviel_

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Marissa lay spread-eagled, face down on her bed. She gave free vent to her feelings, did not try to stop the tears flowing – tried, instead, to feel them, to feel the source they came from, the path they took, the murky corners they cleansed. She stopped abruptly as she heard a knocking on her bedroom door.

"Marissa?" called the sweet - but – oh – so - sour voice of her mother. _Oh great, _thought Marissa. _Just what I need – my mother invading into all my feelings and troubles. _

"Yeah?" she called back shakily.

"Can I come in, I'd like to speak to you," said Julie in a slightly sterner tone.

"Umm…ok…"muttered Marissa. She didn't really want to let her mother in, knowing the talk would be about Jake and tequila and all the other crazy things she'd been associating with lately, but if she didn't let her in, then she'd break the door down anyway.

Julie opened the door slowly, closed it behind her, and plopped down onto the end of Marissa's bed. Marissa sat up cross-legged.

"So…what did you want to talk about?" asked Marissa casually. Julie gave her a firm look. _Mind you, that's what she always does, that little bitch of an ice-queen_, thought Marissa.

"I wanted to discuss your health, actually," began Julie. "You've been crying all day for the last week, you drink a lot, you're slitting your wrists." At this accusation she paused to see Marissa's reaction. Marissa tugged the sleeves of her jumper down nervously. "What's wrong, sweetie? You never tell me anything! You can always tell me!"

Marissa's reaction was just as stony as her mother's expression.

"You want to know _why_ I don't tell you anything?!? You want to know why!?!" she exclaimed, her temper rising. "BECAUSE YOU'D SEND ME TO THE MENTAL INSTITUTION! Isn't it _obvious_!?!"

Julie mouthed wordlessly at her for a moment before standing up huffily.

"This isn't over, Marissa," she said sternly as she crossed the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

And sadly, Julie was right – it wasn't over yet.

Marissa met Jake at a party one night – he was a waiter. His intense, dark brown eyes met hers at once, and she fell in love instantly – the rest of the party was spent chatting and laughing with him, sharing stories and beliefs. He seemed almost perfect to her; he had no flaws.

A few days later they went out for the first time. He was so romantic as they kissed passionately in the movie theatre, not even bothering to watch the film. The second time was much the same – his charm blinded her once more. He had accomplished his mission – she trusted him.

From the third date, everything went horribly wrong. He invited her over to his house. They began to kiss and grope a little, and then he touched her right in the wrong place.

"This is the real me," he had whispered to her when she protested. "Get used to it."

"Dates" were now rape sessions for Jake and heartbreak for Marissa. He beat her the first time she said no, leaving a small bruise on her cheek. Since that bruise, Marissa had collected many others all over body, but the most serious ones were the ones inside – the emotional torment he put her through. Like last night, for example.

Last night had been hell for her.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_flashback to last night_

She didn't want to pick up the phone, but she knew she had to; she had no other prerogative. Jake's creepy, harsh voice answered.

"Get over here, you fat bitch," said Jake. Marissa whimpered slightly.

"I don't – I don't…I don't want to…"she muttered, cringing at the thought of his reaction.

"You don't want to? Well, bitch, that's too bad coz you're coming unless you want him dead," was his nasty reply.

"No! Leave him alone!" replied Marissa defensively. Of course, the threat – if she didn't come, he had told her he would kill Ryan. It was a Hobson's choice – not really a choice at all, simply an evil threat. Marissa believed with all her heart he could do that, and that was the sole reason she kept on coming.

Reluctantly, she grabbed her keys and drove to his multi-million dollar mansion. He was waiting on the porch for her with a smug smile playing on his lips. She forced herself to walk up the marble steps to him without turning back, being strong in every miserable stride.

"Let's just get this over and done with, shall we?" he whispered in her ear as she walked past him. His voice sent a chill down her spine as she knew what he meant by this. She followed him inside and upstairs to his deluxe bedroom.

"My parents are out, so I can do _whatever_ I want," said Jake, wickedly. Marissa recoiled slightly as he advanced on her. He threw her down onto the bed and forced his tongue down her throat, kissing her wildly. He stopped to rip off her t-shirt, leaving her in her pink and black lacy bra. He pulled her shoes off her feet and began kissing up her legs, eventually reaching the hem of her skirt, which he abruptly pulled off.

"Raunchy – I like it," he commented on her underwear, which matched her bra. She struggled for a moment, then realised it was no use – a 17 year old girl against an 18 year old boy who had a sculpted frame was not exactly competition. She lay back on the bed and stayed silent. His taunts were not worth getting into a huff about.

He pinched at a bit of skin on her stomach. "You're getting fatter – go on a diet before you're so fat you have an extra chin."

Marissa tried to ignore it as he ran his hands all over her smooth body. He reached under her to undo the clasp on her bra. He pulled that off her too, revealing her ample breasts. She closed her eyes, knowing what was going to be pulled off next.

Down went the briefs and then it was his turn. He stripped in a matter of seconds – having been used to it by now – and climbed on top of her. _God help me,_ thought Marissa as he rolled a rubber over his erect member. _At least he has the decency to do that_, she thought.

He ran a rough hand over her breasts and pulled at them. He kissed them all over, and then made his way down, licking her out. She fought back tears as Jake lay flat on her and kissed her again. _Wait for it, it's coming_, she thought.

Bam.

_You prick!_

Slap!

She opened her mouth in horror at what she'd done. _Crap, I should control my temper; he's going to kill me now!_ He grinned at the expression of fear he had etched so thoroughly over her face. He thrust harder and faster, causing her tears to flow gently down her cheeks.

"You know I don't like that," he muttered between moans. He kept on moaning, until finally, he collapsed onto her. He pulled out, but not before punching her brutally on the side of her head. She scarcely heard him say something as she saw orange specks floating in front of her eyes, and then a thick cloud of blackness.

_Flashback ended_

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Marissa had been keeping the secret for a month now. She didn't dare tell anyone, fearing he would kill Ryan, one of the few people she cared for right now. She let a few more tears flow before doing the one thing she knew she had to do, but really didn't want to – tell someone. She couldn't tell Ryan, he would go mad, and probably end up murdering Jake if he had the chance. He was a mysterious guy – usually the king of hiding his emotions – he had been known to burst out randomly. And he had a few issues with some people which lead to punching, and in this case maybe killing.

She couldn't tell her dad, she didn't feel comfortable talking to him about that kind of stuff. And her mum was out of the question, _the evil little bitch she is_. Someone….but who?

Then it stuck her – Summer. Marissa had been best friends with Summer since kindergarten. They shared all their deepest, darkest secrets – but would Summer tell anyone. _No, of course not, _thought Marissa. _Why would she? She's my best friend and she respects my feelings._ Taking a short sniff, she leant over to the phone beside her bed and dialled Summer's number. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. _Come on, pick up!_ Ring –

"Hello?" answered a bubbly voice.

Marissa dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "It's me."

"Coop, are you ok?" asked Summer, noticing the shaky tone in her voice.

"I've – I've got something to tell you…it's a secret…"she said softly. She poured her heart out to Summer, telling her all about how everything had gone wrong and how he had threatened to kill Ryan if she told anyone. She continued on, between sobs, but eventually she broke down, tears flying out of her eyes like waterfalls running swiftly down her face.

"God, Coop, you need some help!" said Summer concernedly. "You've got to tell Ryan! He's going to be so angry when he finds out!

"He's not going to find out, because you're not going to tell him!" replied Marissa exasperatedly.

"Fine, I won't," muttered Summer.

"Promise?" replied Marissa hopefully.

"Promise," agreed Summer. "But you have to break up with Jake."

"But – but how?"

"I don't really care, just ring him up and say 'I hate you and I'm not putting up with this anymore' or something. If he tells you to come over, say no and if your parents aren't home, drive over to my place. He doesn't know about me," replied Summer directionally.

"Ok…but I'm not sure if that'll work…" whispered Marissa.

"It will, trust me," replied Summer.

"Ok…see you then."

"See you. Let me know how it goes." Summer hung up. _Marissa needs to get some outside help. I need to tell Ryan…and eventually the police – he can't get away with this kind of thing. _But telling Ryan would mean betraying Marissa's trust. If she spilt the beans, she'd never be able to make it up with Marissa. But – oh this was so damn frustrating! _Ok, I wont tell, but I've got to make sure that they break up. _Summer sighed. Today had been a long day.

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Ta da the end for now!

Click that little button on the left and REVIEW!!

Oh, and i always do this little thing where i give a hint as to what is going to be in the next chapter:

**NEXT CHAPTER: It involves a rescue... :)**


	3. S O S

Hey everyone! Sorry that i took so long writing this chapter - it took a lot of thinking. I wrote the chapter, read over it, then scrapped half of it. It's a bad habit of mine!

Also, i'm in year 9 this year and we get a substantial amount more homework and assignments than we did last year! So if i take a long time for the next chapter, just blame it on bad habits and full-on working!

Thankyou so much for all the reviews you've given me since last chapter! Here's my replys to each person:

**kursk** - Well, i'm not going to spoil the chapter, but thankyou for reviewing!

**alexis** - thanx:P

**OCOneTreeHillFan78** - Thankyou so much, and yes, Seth is in this chapter! More Summer also!

**PuRsE - FaNaTiC **- Indeed he is, as i left a very obvious clue in the last chapter!

**newportbabe** - That's so mad that you get the idea that you're actually there! When i read over my chapters i just think 'oh this is so crap, how can they like this stuff!' And yes, Jake is a character i wanted to make super evil so you'd all stick up for Marissa - unless of course you like the evil dudes!

**PrincessInDiamonds20** - Thanks!

**ann** - Yes i'll try writing faster next time!

**Sarah** - I love writing to people who review, coz it makes it seem like things are on a more personal level, instead of a very distant one. Don't worry, i'm not offended - i know i write slow, i'll write faster next time!

**KJKnights15** - Thanks heaps!

**Kaydeymarie** - Thanks, and I will!

**welcometotheoc** - I know! I love good guy rescues, they convey so much emotion!

**dora lover** - Thanks!

**kalee** - Me too! Ryan getting all protective is one of my favourite things to watch and one of my favourite things to write! Thanks!

**Courts** - I will!

**Larien Elanessë - **Wow, long review! It's like i said with **kalee**, i love Ryan getting all protective too! As for Summer's secret...well i can't tell you, but you'll find out if she keeps it or spills it...and to whom she spills it to if she does! And dont mind the rambling - its great! Oh and by the way, are you a LOTR fan coz i noticed you have an Elvish pen name (i LOVE LOTR and Elvish!)

**elle** - It will come, patience everyone!

**Jojo G. **- ...I really dont think that was necessary. If you hate my story, don't review it! People dont like getting flames, thats why they put 'no flames' in the summary!

**xGoingUnderx** - Thankyou! As for your query, i'm sorry, but i'm not really that experienced at that kind of stuff...sorry:(

**Summer - Breeze171** - Thanks! There will definitely be some S/S but the main focus is R/M

**thetroublew/loveisi'm2lostinu - **Thanks!

Oh and by the way, if you guys review again, could you write your country in it to, because i come from Australia and was thinking about having a pen pal!

Another little song:

_Is anybody listening? _

_Can they hear me when I call? _

_Shooting signals in the air _

_Coz I need somebody's help. _

_I can't make it on my own, _

_So I'm giving up myself _

_Is anybody listening, listening? _

_I've been stranded here and I'm miles away _

_Making signals hoping they'd save me _

_I'll lock myself inside these walls _

_Coz out there I'm always wrong _

_I don't think I'm gonna make it _

_So while I'm sitting here _

_On the eve of my deathbed _

_I write this letter hoping they'd save me _

_Is anybody listening? _

_Can they hear me when I call? _

_Shooting signals in the air _

_Coz I need somebody's help. _

_I can't make it on my own, _

_So I'm giving up myself _

_Is anybody listening, listening? _

_I'm stuck in my own head _

_And I'm oceans away _

_Would anybody notice if I chose to stay? _

_I'll send an S.O.S tonight, _

_I wonder if I will survive _

_How in the hell did I get so far away this time? _

_So now I'm sitting here _

_The time of my departure's near _

_I'll say a prayer – please, someone, save me _

_Is anybody listening? _

_Can they hear me when I call? _

_Shooting signals in the air _

_Coz I need somebody's help. _

_I can't make it on my own, _

_So I'm giving up myself _

_Is anybody listening, listening? _

_I'm lost here _

_I can't make it on my own _

_I don't want to die alone _

_I'm so scared _

_Drowning now _

_Reaching out _

_Holding onto everything I love _

_Trying now _

_Dying now _

_Need some help _

_Is anybody listening? _

_Can they hear me when I call? _

_Shooting signals in the air _

_Coz I need somebody's help. _

_I can't make it on my own, _

_So I'm giving up myself _

_Is anybody listening, listening? _

**S.O.S - Good Charlotte**

Here begins **Chapter 3** of **Pit of Misery** by **Tigerlily - Tinuviel**! Enjoy!

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Marissa picked up her phone and dialled Jake's number. She thought over what she was going to say in her mind as the phone rang. Sitting in front of her mirror, she applied a fresh coat of sparkly lip-gloss. Finally, he picked up.

"Hey gorgeous, what's the matter?" answered Jake's sassy voice.

Marissa closed her eyes as she said, "I'm – I can't be with you."

"Excuse me?" asked Jake, in mock confusion. "I thought you said you wanted to break up with me! But I must have heard wrong. No one breaks up with Jacob Pendereki."

"Yeah, until now," replied Marissa coldly.

"Hmm…..I don't think so," said a voice behind her. Marissa jumped and swivelled on the spot to see Jake standing in her doorway, one hand clutching his phone, the other supporting his body as he leant against the doorframe.

"Jake…" began Marissa, but he cut across her.

"Let's go, your parents will be back soon," said Jake, smirking. Marissa whimpered slightly, edging back towards the dressing table. Without taking her eyes off Jake, she reached for her bag – her sharp edged, clutch bag – on the floor and threw it with all the force she could muster at Jake's face. It hit Jake, but didn't do any damage. Instead, he pulled out a pistol from his pocket and pointed it straight at Marissa. She froze on the spot, in complete shock, not having any idea as to what to do next.

"Let's go," he repeated. Marissa shook her head.

"Fine. You want it the hard way? You're gonna get it the hard way," replied Jake, slightly angry. His fist connected with Marissa's head, and she saw no more.

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Marissa woke up to see the room spinning. There was a person standing over her, and as her vision came into focus, she saw it was Jake. _Oh shit._

"I want you so bad," murmured Jake. He kissed her roughly and ripped off her shirt and bra at once.

"Stop!" screamed Marissa. He pulled her up by the hips and threw her against the cold brick wall. He pushed himself onto her and kissed her brutally again. She tried her hardest to push him off, but she did not succeed. He took off his shirt, pressing his skin onto hers. He pulled off her jeans revealing a slightly sheer pink g-string.

"Oh, I like _that_!" enthused Jake. He grabbed her again and slammed her down onto the bed, face down. He kneaded her thighs, moving his dirty hands all over her flesh. He flipped her back over and pulled the g-string off. Moving down, he kissed her inner thighs, finally meeting his destination. Marissa tried pushing him off, but again, couldn't. Jake pulled off his pants and boxers and climbed on top of her. She choked back a scream as he forced his hardness into her. He invaded her privacy, piece by piece, piercing her body roughly inside, making her cry out in anguish. Her body filled it self with pain and agony as he took over her soul. He moaned in pleasure, biting her neck and entering her viciously several more times. He had claimed her. Marissa wracked with sobs as he explored her. He had taken everything from her. Finally he pulled out.

Marissa lay on the bed while Jake pulled on his boxers and pants. He turned around and looked at her as he zipped up his jeans.

"That's what you get for trying to break up with me," he said cruelly. She nodded. She had had many brutal beatings, but none as painful as this. He walked out of his bedroom door and closed it behind him.

She began crying softly again as she look at herself. Every part of her body felt unclean, touched by the devil. She was so sore she could hardly move, her thighs were bruised, and her hips were scratched from where Jake had pulled her towards him. Bites and bruises covered her chest and neck. A scarlet trickle ran down her leg from where he had pushed so hard. _Get yourself out of here_, she thought.

Jeans and a t-shirt caught her eye. Cautiously, she pulled herself over to her clothes. Every centimetre she moved was agony. With much effort, she put on her t-shirt and jeans, trying to ignore the blinding pain. She shuffled over to the door and reached the handle to open it. She was just about to hobble down the stairs when she saw Jake sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

He turned to face her. Marissa began to back up, but he ran up the stairs and picked her up easily in his arms. She hit him and tried to get him to drop her but he held on firmly.

"This is what you get for trying to run away," said Jake as he walked down the stairs, Marissa still fighting him. His pace quickened and he almost ran to the back door.

"I love you Marissa," said Jake mockingly.

"Then why are you doing this to me?" asked Marissa desperately.

He laughed maliciously and opened the door. The chilly wind howled and rained snow upon them.

"Because I love you, Marissa," said Jake. He laughed maliciously as he threw her out the door. "Because I love you!"

Marissa landed on her side on the cold, hard snow, hitting a rock on landing – it shattered her hip into a million pieces. As her head hit the ground and sent her unconscious she had one last thought.

_Thank God the door was open. _

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_An hour later_

Summer entered the Cohen house in a pair of pale denim jeans, a white snow jacket, and an aqua knitted beanie. Seth and Ryan were sitting in the armchairs in the lounge room. Ryan was in a sort of dreamy mode – his eyes were slightly glazed.

"Damn, it's cold out there!" Summer exclaimed as she shut the door behind her. She ran over to Seth and hugged him. She took off her beanie and unzipped her jacket to reveal a baby blue woollen jumper. "You guys seen Coop?"

"Nope…why?" asked Seth, curiously.

"She's only like, my bestie, Cohen! Besides, she said she was going to break up with Jake, but she's been like…two hours," said Summer, trying to keep her voice even, as though she didn't know anything about it. She looked over at Ryan and felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him, but she knew she had to, for Marissa.

"Um…Ryan?" asked Summer tentatively. Ryan snapped out of his dazed mood.

"What?" he asked sharply.

"I –I…it's just…" she began, but Ryan cut in.

"What?" he asked urgently. She took a few deep breaths before finally spilling.

"Ok…Ok," said Summer, slowly. However, the next part was all in one breath. "Jake's actually really mean and he's been doing some…things he – "

"Did he hurt Marissa?" interrupted Ryan, quickly.

Summer cringed. She could just imagine Ryan's reaction to this next part.

"Umm…well he…uh…you know…"She trailed off nervously. Ryan stood up and there was something mad stirring behind his baby blue eyes.

"He did what?" yelled Ryan, hardly believing what his ears were telling him. "How long have you known?"

"Like a day, but –"Summer cowered at Ryan's wrath.

"Summer, she's probably half-dead by now! Why didn't you tell me before?" he shouted. He was furious at Summer – how could she keep a secret like that from him. Even worse, how could Marissa keep that kind of secret from him? He felt so hurt, so betrayed.

"Because, Ryan, she was probably thinking you'd fly off the handle and scream at her," said Seth, simply. "Which is quite reminiscent of this exact moment, actually?"

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR HUMOUR!" Ryan bellowed at Seth. He turned back to Summer. "Where does that bastard live?" She jotted down Jake's address on a piece of paper quickly and handed it to Ryan.

Summer looked at Ryan for a second and realised he was only wearing jeans, a hoodie, and sneakers. "Don't you need to put on some more clothes, like a jacket, for instance?" she said, matter-of-factly. He ignored her. The only thing on his mind was 'save Marissa'.

He ran to the hallway and sprinted out the door. Trying to ignore the bite of the wind and snow, he jogged down the driveway.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Summer bit her lip.

"He's going to kill me, isn't he?" she commented to Seth.

"Hmm…no…oh, actually…yes, yes he is," replied Seth.

"Oh great," said Summer sardonically.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Marissa awoke to snow slapping at her face. Her head was spinning, aching, perhaps exploding; she was so vague she couldn't tell. With effort, she brought her vision into focus, discerning that she was lying on her side with snow flying around the sky, raining down on her limp form. Her entire body ached with bruises and cuts, both recent and old. Her hip was screaming at her; the pain was excruciating. She felt as if someone had thrown her into a frozen lake – she was shaking uncontrollably.

_What on earth am I doing lying in the snow?_

She lifted her head slowly and realised what. As her eyes rested upon a back door, she remembered all the tortures she had been put through that evening. _Maybe he's still in there, waiting for me to come in. _She wondered which would kill her first – the cold or Jake.

_Run. _

Marissa's strength was pitiful, but with a determined effort, she pulled herself up into a sitting position. Immediately, pain seized her abdomen, so painful that she cried out, and fell down again, this time on her stomach placing her face-first in the snow.

_Run…get away…come on…_

"I can't!" whispered Marissa, with much exertion.

_You must…you have to survive…look at me…_

The voice inside her head wasn't her own…and yet it was familiar. She raised her head slightly and saw what seemed like a hallucination. In front of her, apparently unaffected by the cold, was the image of Ryan.

"Hold on," said Ryan, softly. "Don't let go."

"Cold…so cold…" whispered Marissa.

"Just hold on, Marissa, I'm coming," his image assured her. "I won't let you leave. I love you!"

A sudden emotion swelled up inside Marissa, something she hadn't ever felt before. She couldn't analyse it, her insides were swirling with passion.

"I love you!" repeated Ryan. "You will remember it before the end." Then suddenly, the image of Ryan flickered and dissolved into the wind.

"Wait…Ryan…" whispered Marissa desperately. She stretched out one arm, trying to grab at the place where he had been, but found her body was too weak. "Don't leave me…"

Her head felt like it was made of lead, it was so heavy, she was so tired…

As she fell unconscious for the second time, her head landed on a sharp rock, creating a deep gash across her forehead.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Ryan couldn't believe this was happening. He'd walked in on a girl being raped at a party in Chino once, and it wasn't a pretty sight. He tried to stop imagining Marissa having the same torture. His body shook – half out of anger, half out of the freezing winds. Summer was right – he should have worn more than simply a hoodie and jeans.

He stopped when he reached the right house. He ran up the pathway and pounded on the door.

"Marissa! Marissa! Are you there?" he yelled. No response. Frustrated, he looked around and spied a back gate.

Ryan pushed the gate open and walked through the entrance. The large backyard was covered in snow, save one patch under the carport.

"Marissa!" yelled Ryan, but he received no response except for the howling wind. He was just about to turn around to go back out, but he heard a voice inside his head telling him, _Ryan, you know she's here, just look around you. _

Indeed, he looked around and saw figure lying in the snow. He rushed over to it, and as he came closer, Ryan saw it was a girl, around his own age. He knelt down and brushed the snow gently off the girl in an attempt to identify her. He gasped when he saw her face.

Marissa was lying on her back on the icy ground, half covered by the ever-falling snow. Bruises – blue, green, and yellow – covered her face and body, distorting her beauty. A deep gash ran across her forehead, and the blood dripping gently from it stained her left cheek. As Ryan swept more snow off her body, he realised all she was wearing was a t-shirt and jeans – nowhere near warm enough to keep out the chilling winds.

"Wake up, come on!" whispered Ryan desperately. He put his head next to hers and listened for a breath. He couldn't hear it, but he felt a tiny breath pass against his cold cheek. And another one…and another one. There was too much space between each breath, and although Ryan didn't want to admit it, it didn't look like she had much time left.

He breathed a sigh of relief that she was alive. _Now to check her pulse_…He put two fingers on the side of her bruised neck and waited. Boom….boom….boom….boom. Like her breathing, it was so slow Ryan feared for her life. But the thing that scared Ryan the most was the top half of her jeans – they were stained red with blood.

Ryan ripped off his jumper and wrapped it around her fragile body, trying hard to ignore the harsh snow flying at him. He then picked her up gently into his arms. He held her close to his body, in an attempt to keep her warmer. He trudged back through the gate towards the street, slowly breaking into a jog. Ryan sat down on the kerb, still holding Marissa tightly. Ryan pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled 911.

"Ambulance. Girl, beaten up. Lying in the snow. Yes, she's unconscious. Yes. Yes. Only just. Ryan Atwood, 17 Blinkop St Newport Beach," he snapped to the person on the other end.

Through the thick snow he could see red blinking lights. The ambulance. He got up slowly, and waited for it to pull over. Once it had parked, a paramedic walked over to him.

"You're Ryan Atwood?" he asked in a bored tone Ryan didn't like. Ryan nodded.

Two male paramedics lifted her out of Ryan's arms onto the stretcher. The paramedic who had asked Ryan his name approached him again while Marissa was being lifted into the back of the ambulance.

"You know the girl?" asked the paramedic.

"Yeah…she's a good friend of mine," replied Ryan.

"Name?"

"Marissa Cooper," supplied Ryan impatiently.

"Where'd you find her?" asked the paramedic.

"In the backyard…her boyfriend Jake did this to her…" said Ryan quietly. _Damn bastard_.

"So is this Jake's house?" asked the paramedic.

"Yes."

"I see," said the paramedic. Ryan averted his eyes; he could tell the paramedic didn't trust him. "How did you know she was being abused?"

"Her best friend told me she was going to go break up with him, but she'd been about two hours so I decided to go check on her, see if she was ok…" said Ryan, choosing his words carefully.

"Hmm…" muttered the paramedic, before walking back over to the ambulance. "Could you call her closest relatives to tell them about this?"

Ryan nodded. The paramedic nodded, and then climbed into the back of the ambulance. As Ryan watched the doors close and drive away, for once in his life he could cry and no one would see him. He could weep until the day he died and no one would ever know. He took the opportunity while it lasted, his body wracking with sobs. Eventually he got a grip, wiped away the tears and dialled the Cohen's house. His hand shook as he held the phone in his hand.

_Ring ring….ring ring…._

Summer dashed to the Cohen's phone and answered it.

"Hello?" responded Summer.

"Hey, it's Ryan. I found Marissa; she's on her way to Newport Memorial. Could you tell the Cohen's to ring Mr Cooper and the Nichols?" he said softly.

"Ok, oh my gosh, is she alright?" she asked, taking in the shock.

"She'll be…ok," assured Ryan, but in his heart he knew she wouldn't be fine at all. In fact, it would be a wonder if she got out alive.

"Ryan?" said Summer, suspecting he didn't really feel that way.

"I'm fine too," he said firmly.

"Yeah, you're Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. Just F.I.N.E."

Ryan frowned. "Isn't that from The –"

"- Italian Job, yes," said Summer. "But that's not the point. You need to show a little emotion sometime! You can't always be Mr Strong. Just – just….i dunno…."

Fighting to keep his voice even, he replied, "Cry a little? Been there, done that." He hung up, not knowing what to say.

"He hung up on me!" exclaimed Summer. "And…and…gosh…"

"What?" asked Seth.

"Nothing…" Summer trailed off, preferring to keep it secret. Seth eyed her suspiciously.

"Sure it's nothing, that's what they always say," he said. Summer rolled her eyes.

_Go home_, a voice was telling him. _Just go, there's nothing you can do for her now. You have to move on._

"No," argued Ryan, out loud. "She's not – she's not…dead…she's going to be ok…." But even as he uttered those last words, he knew he was lying to himself. _Go home_, the voice kept telling him. He started walking, tears flowing freely down his face.

_Go home, go home, go home…_

"Alright, I'm going!" he muttered at that stupid voice in his head. He staggered off towards the Cohen's house.

As he was walking, he noticed his heart feeling weaker and weaker with each step. His blood felt like ice, and his feet were numb, carrying him down the street to home.

He arrived a few minutes later. He wiped away his tears with a trembling hand. He shivered, and staggered towards the door, on which he leant against for a few seconds, trying to catch his breath. He raised a fist and knocked on the door. Summer answered it, Seth behind her. They at once noticed he was shaking uncontrollably and he looked very faint.

"Oh my gosh, are you ok!" gasped Summer. Ryan's head was swirling, all he could see was a white blur. He managed to whisper, "Cold…" before his eyes rolled back into his head and the waves of the sea of unconsciousness drowned him.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Ooooooooooooooh whats gonna happen? SUSPENSE! You know, even i'm not sure what's going to happen! If you have any suggestions, chuck them in a review and i might use them!

**Next chapter clue:** A heck of a lot of grief... :(


	4. Wake Me Up When September Ends

Hey everyone! Sorry i took so long - i was a bit stuck for ideas, but i know exactly what is going to be in the next chapter so hopefully that wont take as long as this one

Here's my replies to reviews:

**J**: Thankyou!

**Ooh La La**: I know it doesnt snow in California, but it's fanfic - you can do what you like with it!

**OCLver**: Thanks, i will!

**KJKnights15**: Thanks, and yes, i am a major Good Charlotte fan! I luv their lyrics, their so meaningful!

**kursk**: Yes, Ryan will take revenge but not yet. You'll have to wait a couple of chapters for that!

**Allyssa**: Thanks, and i will!

**caroline**: Wow! How much praise could i get! thanks so much, the feeling when someone reviews you and says you're great is just awesome!

**Sarah**: Wow i don't believe it! I read over my stories and go "oh that was crap" but you go "yay i want more"! Thanks so much!

**thetroublew/loveisi'm2lostinU**: Thats mad, another aussie! Go the aussies!

**Larien Elanessë:** Hey, thats so awesome that you love LOTR...as for the confusion, i'm really sorry...i'm not always clear with my writing! Thats so kool that you're faithfully waiting!

**welcometotheoc: **omg i know! year 9 is the beginning of an overload i'm afraid. oh well...

**xGoingUnderx**: Thanks heaps!

**OCann**: Well i'm not going to spoil the story, but Ryan does get revenge...oh and Ryan's ok now, he wakes up in this chappie...as for Marissa im not telling! As for Jake...you'll find out later! Thanks!

**emma**: Thanks, and i will!

**lucase**: Thanks, i will update more often!

And as usual, a little song to kickstart the chapter.

_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
wake me up when september ends_

Like my fathers come to pass  
Seven years has gone so fast  
Wake me up when september ends

Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars  
Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost  
Wake me up when september ends

**Wake me up when September Ends - Greenday**

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Ryan lay immobile on the floor in front of Seth and Summer.

"What the hell just happened here?" wondered Summer out loud. "He just, like, fainted!" Seth bent down and rolled him over onto his back. Seth frowned as he studied Ryan.

"Looks alright…" he muttered. He prodded Ryan's shoulder. "Ryan. _Ryan. _RYAN!"

Summer rolled her eyes. "Look, and learn." She slapped Ryan hard across the face. "HEY CHINO! WAKE UP!" Ryan didn't move.

Seth raised his eyebrows. "Oh, so that's how it's done, is it? Let me show you the true extent of the powers of Seth Cohen." He stood up and walked over to the kitchen. _Lame ass_, thought Summer.

Seth returned a few seconds later with a glass of water. Suddenly he tipped it upside down on Ryan's face, waking him up abruptly. His usual baby blue eyes were dull and empty. Seth smirked at Summer.

"See! I told you!"

Summer ignored him and turned to Ryan. "Hey, you ok?"

"Cold…" whispered Ryan. "I'm cold…"

"Can you stand?" asked Summer concernedly.

"I –I think so…" responded Ryan quietly.

Seth grabbed one of his arms, and Summer grabbed the other and together they helped him onto the couch.

"I'll go get you a blanket – anything else you need?" asked Summer bossily.

"No…no…I'm fine…" muttered Ryan. Summer left the room to go hunt down a blanket or two.

"That was scary, man, don't do that again," said Seth. But Ryan wasn't listening; he was still staring out into the atmosphere, as if in a daze, feeling like he had been broken in two.

"Ryan, you ok?"

"Yeah…yeah I'm fine…" he lied vaguely. The emotion was so overwhelming it felt as if there were none at all; as if he was in a mindless existence, completely oblivious to the entire fiasco. A stranger in a dark world.

He felt someone wrap a thick woollen blanket around him. He appreciated it greatly – his entire body felt like ice. The two figures in front of him were a coloured blur and when they spoke, the sound echoed as if they were in a tunnel.

"Ryan…man, what happened?" asked Seth worriedly.

"I don't want to talk about it" muttered Ryan, firmly. He closed his eyes gently, the emotion engulfing his senses. In any case, the blurry movements of Seth and Summer were making him feel sick.

"Ryan…" said Seth anxiously, thinking he was going to pass out again.

"I'm fine…" replied Ryan. Seth and Summer exchanged a significant glance.

"Ryan. You are not fine," argued Summer sternly. "You just passed out for no apparent reason. That is hardly fine. I think you should go to bed and rest."

Seth gaped at her mothering quality. Too tired to argue back, Ryan let her guide him towards the spare bedroom because, "I'm not letting you get sick again, so you can stay inside!" He pulled off his shoes and plopped down onto the bed, too tired to care that he wasn't under the covers. A few seconds later, he felt someone put a blanket over him and he fell asleep…

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"Aww…he looks so cute when he's asleep!" mentioned Summer, half-smiling.

"Uh, Summer, over here! I'm supposed to be the cute one! I'm your boyfriend, remember!" pointed out Seth.

Summer put on her thinking expression. not really." She put her hands down and smiled cheekily. "You're not cute, you're damn sexy!" Seth smiled.

"Subtlety was never you're strong point," commented Seth, egging her on. Summer gaped in mock horror, but before she could say anything, Seth added, "Hey, hey…I didn't say subtlety was bad! I never said it was bad! In fact, I kinda like it, especially if you're calling me the sexiest man alive!"

"Did I say that?"

"Ouch, keep twisting the knife, feels good!"

"Well, I guess you are kinda cute," Summer replied.

"What! Now I'm just _kinda cute_!" exclaimed Seth.

"Oh shut up Cohen!" She leaned over to kiss him and he obliged passionately. A few seconds later, Summer broke it off. Seth looked at her questioningly.

"I don't think Ryan would appreciate waking up to see us pashing."

"Hmm…true. But we could always just tiptoe down to the couch."

Summer looked around at Ryan. The poor boy, he'd just seen the love of his life half-dead and was trying to keep the emotion in…_I wonder if he cries at night_ thought Summer…_he's got to cry sometime…_

"Earth to Summer! I repeat, earth to Summer!" interrupted Seth.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming…" She got off the bed and followed Seth out the door, turning around for one last look at Ryan. A single tear slipped down her cheek before she closed the door quietly behind her.

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Seth and Summer were still kissing on the couch fifteen minutes later. Abruptly, Seth broke off gently.

"I should probably call my mom…tell her about what happened…" murmured Seth. Summer nodded. Just as he was getting up to get the phone, the door banged open. Kirsten and Sandy were home with take-out.

"Hi Seth," said Kirsten brightly. She spotted Summer, "Oh and, sorry sweetie, I didn't see you there! Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Oh thanks, Mrs Cohen."

"No problem! We're always glad to have another at our table…hang on, where's Ryan?" asked Sandy.

Seth sighed. "That is a very long story, so I suggest you sit down." Sandy and Kirsten, worry painted on their faces, sat down.

And then he explained. How Marissa told Summer she was being abused, how Summer couldn't tell Ryan because it would be breaking Marissa's trust, how Summer eventually spilt the beans, how Ryan went off on his rescue mission in nothing but a hoodie and jeans, and how he came back in a pretty crap condition, freezing cold, minus the hoodie. By the end of the tragic tale, both Sandy and Kirsten were gaping.

"Oh my gosh, is she ok?" squealed Kirsten.

"I don't know, all I know is she's at Newport Memorial. And Julie Cooper is there currently," replied Seth informatively.

"We'll go and visit tomorrow – if her condition's bad, we won't be allowed in tonight unless we're family," replied Sandy. "And Ryan would want to go; he'd never forgive us if we went without him." The company nodded silently. Kirsten had a few tears smudging her mascara that she nervously wiped away.

Seth broke the silence. "Well, is anyone hungry?"

"I'll go check on Ryan…you can start without me…" said Kirsten as she journeyed up the stairs.

Summer, Seth, and Sandy loaded the Chinese take-out onto the table and began setting the table. When it was done, Kirsten returned and joined them.

"He's still asleep…" she said quietly.

About five minutes later, however, Ryan came down the staircase, looking extremely pale and still shaking a little. He took a seat next to Seth.

"So, how you feeling?" asked Seth.

"Fine," lied Ryan, coldly. _Seth and his fat-ass mouth…isn't it obvious I feel shit!_

Ryan served himself a spoonful or two of rice and ate it. He wasn't really hungry, but everyone was watching him – whether obviously or stealthily – so he thought it best to be as calm as possible. There was an awful silence that lasted for another five minutes, and then the phone rang. Kirsten went to answer it.

"Hello? Oh my gosh, Julie! I heard, yeah, is she alright?" said Kirsten, and as the silence continued, Kirsten's expression of worry was growing. "Oh my gosh. We'll come and visit tomorrow, alright? I'll see you there." She sat back down at the table.

"That was Julie," she informed the company. Summer, Seth, and Sandy nodded silently, but Ryan asked the question he was desperate to know the answer to.

"Is she alright?" he asked quietly.

"I honestly can't say…Julie said she's in ICU - in a coma - and she's broken her hip, and she's bruised all over. I'm not sure, but that's the basics," replied Kirsten morbidly.

_Oh. ICU, huh? Well then…_

"After all that…well, at least she's still alive," said Seth gravely.

Seth's comment sent Ryan's emotion into overdrive. Ryan could feel the blood boiling under his skin, his hand shook slightly and instinctively clenched into a fist. He put his fork down and stood up.

"Yeah, well she looked pretty fucking dead to me," he said viciously. He left the table, shoved the back door open, slammed it behind him and walked out into the freezing cold night towards the pool house. When he reached it, he flopped down on his stomach on his bed and cried into his pillow. Ever since the first day of his life, he had had bad days every day, but this one was definitely one of the worst.

_God if you exist, I've got a couple of questions for you. Number 1: Why? Why does she have to suffer? Why not anyone else? Why not ME? Why didn't you put me in that hospital bed fighting for my life? Why her?_ Tears poured silently down his cheeks as he struggled to comprehend this unfairness. _It all ends today_.

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**Ooooh what will happen next?**

**NEXT CHAPTER HINT**: Ryan visits Marissa and...yes...


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